Ask A Death Doula Podcast: How Bedside Visitations are Helping to Heal Grief

Big Ideas:

1. What are Bedside Visitations [00:59] – Many times there is a space in the end of life where people who have died before “come back” to the bedside of the patient. I am told they return to help the other person cross over to the other side. In the Doulagivers Training, we have a section called, “Indications that Someone is Headed into the Transition Phase.” One of these common indications is that the patient will see loved ones that have died already or even Angelic Figures at the bedside. In my experience, having worked with over one thousand people at the end of life from all different backgrounds, cultures, and religions - people are most often visited by a loved one or family member that has died before them. Not everyone will have this experience or share with you that they had it. It was reported recently that Betty White’s last word before she passed away was, “Allen.” This is the name of her deceased husband and is a great example of what we’re talking about here.

 

2. How does it happen, Why does it happen, What does it mean? [4:00] – If you’ve ever had somebody that you’re caring for or that you loved at the end of life, and they’ve had this experience - you will never look at the world the same way again. Whether or not you believe this is truly happening, as a practitioner, this is a strong indication that this person is getting close to having their end of life. From a scientific standpoint, everything is energy. In the Doulagivers Training, we talk about how we are composed of four main bodies of energy (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). In my opinion, from having worked with so many people at the end of life, there is a part of the end-of-life journey where the patient’s physical body is diminishing and their spiritual body is growing. There is a moment in time where they meet equally, so essentially the patient has one foot still in this physical world and one foot in the next at the same time. It is incredibly powerful.

 

 

3. A Change of Perspective [6:09] – I have sat bedside with people who have woken up from a nap or overnight sleep with so much new information. Waking up and excitedly exclaiming, “I get it now! It all makes sense!” They act as though all the pieces to the puzzle of life now fit together. Why? Because that spiritual growth within them is providing access to a higher perspective. It provides a sense of all-knowing wisdom, connection, no judgment, and unconditional love and they’re now looking through that lens. They’ve now accessed a higher part of their energetic frequency. It changes everything about how they look at their life. The peace, serenity, and joy that can accompany this experience is indescribable. As a practitioner, when you get to see your patient in that state of serenity and peace, you will hold that in your heart forever. You will look back on that time not with the heaviness of uncomfortable thoughts and pain, but rather, by remembering the energetic and loving space that that person was in. This experience happens often regardless of where in the world the person is, or what culture or religion they belong to – it is a universal theme at the end of life. Death is a unifying force in our humanity, and it is my belief that we are all part of one universal consciousness.

 

4. We Don’t Have to Wait Until the End [9:55] – We can do our work to raise our energetic frequency right here, right now. We don’t have to wait until the end of life when it organically happens. We are in control of how we choose to do things – how we think, speak, and act are all within our control. We can change and strengthen our energetic frequency and perspective right here, right now by being intentional with the way we lead our lives. I have learned everything I know about how to live – to live in flow, to live in love, to live in connection – from the people I have had the honor and privilege to work with at the end of life.

 

 

5. The Bigger Meaning [13:40] – What is life about? Is it so much more than we’ve been taught or that we mostly know and how we’re operating? I absolutely think so. We are all connected to on unconditional loving consciousness. The world and all of nature – the entire universe is tethered together. We need to look out and care for one another. We need to meet each other in compassionate presence without judgment. What is this journey of life about? My belief is that it is the school of life – we are here to learn lessons, to get back to finding our true self before we get to the end of life where it organically happens. Every experience you have is an opportunity to get closer to alignment with your higher energetic frequency. It is the choices you make, the way that you want to live your life every single day – with your thoughts, with your actions, with your purpose, with your compassionate presence – that will change that energetic alignment. You can access it now; you don’t have to wait.

Memorable Quotes:

1. “I have learned everything I know about how to live – to live in flow, to live in love, to live in connection – from the people I have had the honor and privilege to work with at the end of life.” – Suzanne B. O’Brien RN

 

2. “The universal laws that people at the end-of-life share say that we’re all connected to one unconditional loving consciousness. All of us, all of the animals, all of the elements, all of nature – all of it is connected. So, we need to look out and care for one another.” – Suzanne B. O’Brien RN

Resources:  – Death Doula Guide HERE

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