Ask A Death Doula Podcast: Forgiveness Will Set You Free with Suzanne O’Brien RN

Big Ideas:

1. The Definition of Forgiveness [1:29] – Forgiveness is not condoning or excusing someone else’s actions. We are all responsible for our actions. We have all done things we are not proud of – making mistakes is part of the human experience. The biggest thing you can do is take ownership of your mistakes and have the humility to ask for forgiveness. Chances are that you were doing the best you could with where you were and with what you had to work with at the time. It does not excuse your actions, but it does explain them. By looking at things from a higher perspective, we can then begin to heal them and let them go. Forgiveness is your key in this life’s journey for transformation and healing. Forgiveness is not condoning or excusing anyone’s behavior or actions, but rather, removing your energetic attachment to their behavior and actions.

 

2. The Energetic Cost of Anger and Resentment [5:00] – It takes a lot of energy to be angry and resentful towards other people. If someone hurt you in the past and you hold onto that hurt every day and it boils over into anger, it is draining your energetic bank account. When you forgive, it sets you free. You have to understand that forgiveness is for you, not for the other person. It’s allowing you to break those mental and emotional chains that are holding you back from living the life of peace you deserve. There is not one person in the world that doesn’t have forgiveness to give or to receive. There are usually many layers on many different topics that have occurred over the course of our life that require forgiveness for us to find closure.

 

 

3. The Stabilization Phase and Forgiveness [6:12] – Remember that this knowledge and wisdom I am sharing with you comes from many people at the end of life. The Doulagivers 3 Phases of End of Life Care Model breaks the dying process into 3 phases (The Shock Phase, The Stabilization Phase, and The Transition Phase). I refer to the Stabilization Phase as the “Work Phase.” This is because this is where people will take inventory of their lives and conduct a life review. This is the moment where forgiveness is going to play a role and where they will have the opportunity to give and receive it. Those who have this phase and utilize it for this purpose have the most beautiful end of life experiences. Forgiveness can bring about an energetic shift. It can make a patient light up as they remove the heaviness of anger and resentment from their lives.

 

4. Unforgiveness [7:28] - When we’re hurt by someone, that hurt forms into an energetic block that becomes frozen in time, and it gets stuck inside of us. We usually push these energetic blocks down below the surface so that we can live our daily lives – it is sometimes too painful for us to confront or process what has happened. This is especially true for children who were hurt by their parents or experienced other forms of childhood trauma. Unforgiveness creates blocked spaces within us and if not processed, healed, or released – will create pain, bad habits, destructive patterns, and unhappiness in our lives. The way to release this is through forgiveness. At the end of life there is a natural process in which the physical body is declining, and the spiritual body is growing – loving energy organically increases during this process which allows for a safe space to emerge that is defined by wisdom and a new perspective and the ability for the end-of-life patient to reflect on painful memories in a less traumatic way and to give and seek forgiveness. This is really powerful because it creates a ripple effect in the lives of others.

 

 

5. The Power of Forgiveness [10:37] – You can utilize the power of forgiveness right now to set yourself free and allow yourself to pursue whatever it is you want in life from this point moving forward. Unforgiveness holds you hostage – it keeps you a prisoner to the past and prevents you from moving forward and doing whatever you want. Forgiveness releases those energies and puts you back in control over your energy flow. Unforgiveness is an actual medical diagnosis. There is a huge connection with anger, pain, guilt, unforgiveness and physical illness. People have told me verbatim that they felt their cancer was the result of unforgiveness and trauma that they didn’t heal and didn’t process. While in Thailand, I visited a temple that was designed for those facing their end of life. There were four main things that they did to help heal themselves and make the most of their remaining time on this earth: they removed all sugar from their diet and ate a plant-based diet, they meditated, they moved the body through exercise, and they did a forgiveness practice. This included writing down what they wanted to receive forgiveness for and what they wanted to give forgiveness for. They would read this to the head of the temple and then had a ceremony to burn it. Many people at this temple told me they were the happiest they had ever been. It was about the freedom of forgiveness – being released from that internal prison and returning to a state of joyful flow, alignment, and connection. You and I can access this gift right now. It is not easy, and it is a process, but it can be done. You have to look at your past painful experiences through a non-judgmental perspective. Ask yourself what those experiences were trying to teach you. It is trying to reach a place where you can actually thank those who hurt you because they gave you an opportunity to accelerate your spiritual growth and look back at your experiences without them being so triggering to you. A place where you can look at those people who have hurt you through a lens of empathy and compassion. Understand that hurt people hurt people. It’s not excusing them or condoning their behavior – but understanding what was driving them so that you can transform your anger into empathy. That is how you can find forgiveness and set yourself free.

 

Memorable Quotes:

1. “Forgiveness is the golden key to everything. It’s the key to all the healing whether we’re holding on to shame, or guilt, or anger, or resentment. All of these things that are part of the human experience - forgiveness is the transformational tool.” – Suzanne B. O’Brien RN

 

2. “There is not one person in this world that does not have forgiveness to give. There is not one person in this world that does not have forgiveness to receive.” – Suzanne B. O’Brien RN  

Resources: – Get the FREE DEATH DOULA GUIDE DEATH DOULA GUIDE HERE

 

... Join the FREE MEMBERSHIP SITE HERE: FREE MEMBERSHIP AND TRAINING SITE 

 

... Please "Like" and "subscribe" to my channel!

xoxoxo Suzanne